Perfection or Completion?

Every day of 2008 I took a photograph first thing every morning out my dining room window.  I didn’t know why and I didn’t know if I had the discipline to follow through every day for a year – after all I started Bonnie Craig’s 21 day shape-up program at least 5 times and never got past day 8 (and never did the whole thing).  But something in me knew it was an important undertaking for me and so, day by day, every day, I took my picture.

I made myself be content with the pictures as they came out, altering them only to saturate the color a bit to compensate for the compression of the jpeg format. I was frustrated sometimes by what I didn’t know about – how to better capture the light and by the inevitable smudge on the window on the days I couldn’t open it to take the picture. 

As I reflect on the project this from Jung comes to mind:

“If a woman strives for perfection she forgets the complementary role of completeness, which, though imperfect by itself, forms the necessary counterpart to perfection. For, just as completeness is always imperfect, so perfection is always incomplete, and therefore a final state which is hopelessly sterile…the imperfectum carries within it the seeds of its own improvement. Perfectionism always ends in a blind alley, while completeness by itself lacks selective values.” (C.G.Jung, CW 11, para. 620)

I had to be content with my imperfections as a photographer, with the errors that inevitably crept in and in the process, as completing the project became my goal, I became better at what I was doing. Good lessons in it.

Fat: Guidelines for Therapists

A note on nomenclature: I deliberately use the term “fat” not “obese”. In groups of people who have been marginalised on the basis of race or sexual orientation, an important part of claiming agency is declaring the right to choose what members call themselves. Similarly it is the practice in the fat community to reclaim the term “fat” from the pool of epithets directed against us, as segments of the gay community have reclaimed “queer”. Therefore in what follows, I use “fat” rather than “obese” except when quoting or referring to research reports.

I have been able to locate three sets of guidelines for therapists when dealing with patients with size issues — one published in the American Psychological Association’s Monitor, one by NAAFA, and the last by Marion Woodman. So let’s look at the first two. 

From the APA Monitor:

From the APA Monitor, a brief set of guidelines for therapists interested in being “size friendly” — it’s a short piece and seems to have been little noticed, though it was published in January 2004.

Here are the guidelines:

  • Don’t make assumptions about overweight clients, such as about whether they have an eating disorder or are working toward acceptance of their weight.
  •  Display size-friendly artwork or magazines–such as BBW Magazine–in your office or lounge.
  • Have seating in your office that can accommodate larger people. An example is armless chairs.
  • Raise your colleagues’ and students’ awareness by addressing these issues in formal and informal ways, such as during clinical supervision or in workshops. 
  •  Ask larger clients about eating behaviors in the same way you would ask a thin or average-sized person.
  • Through self-questioning and introspection, become aware of your own level of prejudice toward overweight people.
  • Educate yourself on issues that affect overweight people, such as the genetic influences of size and the effects of dieting on physical and mental health.
  • Understand that an overweight person’s problems are not always a result of their weight and that therapy does not bring thinness. Be aware that resolving life issues also does not necessarily result in weight loss.

From NAAFA:

Next, NAAFA(National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance ) has updated its guidelines for therapists. Here is their list of common assumptions for you to consider:

GUIDELINES FOR THERAPISTS WHO TREAT FAT CLIENTS

There are several assumptions, based on myth and prejudice rather than fact, which many members of our culture–including psychotherapists–believe to be true about fat people. These assumptions affect how therapists view and work with fat people in their practices. It is imperative that therapists recognize and clear out misinformation and bias in order to be most supportive and effective with their clients. We recommend that psychotherapists practice weight neutrality – i.e., make no assumptions based on a person’s weight, and not tie goals of treatment to weight outcomes. The following stereotypes are common perceptions that should be challenged.

ASSUMPTION #1:

You can determine what people are doing about eating and exercise, just by looking at them. 

People naturally come in all sizes and shapes. Many fat people eat no more than thin people. some fat people are extremely active; some thin people are extremely inactive. Therapists must get to know each individual and his or her unique life.

ASSUMPTION #2:

Emotional issues cause “excess weight,” and once the issues are resolved, the person will lose weight. 

Humans come in a range of weights, just as they come in a range of heights. There is no evidence that emotional problems are more often the cause of higher weight. The idea that one has to explain why someone is at a higher weight is as nonsensical as trying to explain why someone is tall. There are fat people with emotional problems just as there are thin people with emotional problems, and the problems do not necessarily have anything to do with weight.

ASSUMPTION #2A:

Large body size indicates sexual abuse, or a defense against sexuality. 

Some people who have been sexually abused may be fat; however, we cannot draw any conclusions about a person’s psyche based on body size. Many fat people are comfortable with their sexuality and are sexually active.

(I am not certain where the notion came from but around 15-20 years ago, the same folks who were promoting MPD were also promoting the idea that some 90% of fat women had been sexually abused. I never saw any research to support this figure but it was widely held for some time — C.F.)

ASSUMPTION #2b:

Fat people must be binge eaters. 

A small minority of fat people meet the criteria for Binge eating Disorder (BeD), as do a minority of thin people. There are also fat people who are malnourished, restricting, purging, and below their “healthy” weight. People with eating disorders deserve effective treatment and are often able to recover; however, their weight may or may not change in that process. An arbitrarily chosen weight should not be a goal of treatment, since weight is not under direct control. The focus should be on a sustainable, high quality of life, and on helping the person to accept the resulting body size.

ASSUMPTION #3:

If a person is distressed and fat, weight loss is the solution. 

Being the target of weight prejudice can be cause for profound distress; however, the solution to prejudice is to address the prejudice, not the stigmatized characteristic. What would we do for a thin person in similar distress? The quality of support the person is able to give herself, and the quality of support available to her in the world, are key areas of focus. We do not have interventions that lead to lasting weight change, but we do have interventions that free people to be kinder to themselves and mobilize their energy to make their lives better.

ASSUMPTION #4:

Fat children must have been abused or neglected. 

Their problems can be fixed by restrictive dieting and rigorous exercise. fat children and their parents have been increasingly ostracized in a culture that equates a thin body size with personal value and appropriate parenting. children often gain extra weight before a growth spurt. enforcing weight- loss dieting and competitive exercise can lead to rebellion against both, as well as disordered eating. children need to be supported in using hunger and satiety cues to make decisions about eating, and in valuing their bodies and the variety of bodies in the world. 

ASSUMPTION #5:

I am not biased against fat people. 

Research consistently shows that most people, including most healthcare professionals and even those who work closely with fat people, hold negative beliefs about fat people. Please investigate your own associations with weight and bodies of different sizes, including your own body, as essential preparation for working with fat people. (2) Therapists should be able to let go of any agenda to eliminate fatness, and see the beauty in fat bodies and the strengths of fat people living under oppression.

If you are in therapy or have been in therapy, how does/did your therapist stack up against these guidelines? Are there others you think should be included?