"Exchanging words is the essence of psychotherapy." Nor Hall
When I meet with a new patient, I always have a slight anxiety before this new person arrives -- anxiety and also anticipation Will we "click"? What new doors will open through this person and our work -- because this process changes both of us, though not to the same degree. So there is that tingle of the new and unknown as I answer the door. And then, once in my office, we sit down and I ask, as i always do, "What brings you here today?" and we begin.
It is a curious process, therapy is. I have no visible tools. No questionnaires. No workbooks. No pills or potions. I bring with me 35 years of sitting and listening in the same way plus my own life experience and a lot of reading. The journey is never the same with any two people. Which is why I never get tired of it, never weary of starting again with "What brings you here today".
When psychotherapy works, it is not magic. For me, the experience of seeing therapy work is like a miracle; it is a signal of transcendence. I go about my business, and I know how to attend to my work. I observe. I listen. I take in. I accept the person as he or she chooses to present in my office, with as little or as much as they disclose. I attempt to the best of my ability to bracket my own issues and unfinished business, my own insecurities, trusting myself to the moment and the occasion of our meeting.
Then, I describe what I am observing and experiencing in the presence of this unique person who has come for help. It is a signal of transcendence to me that that simple process can change things.
Psych Pundit puts it this way:
If, as a psychologist, I can help change a patient's thoughts, I've also (by definition) helped change his brain. Changing behavior changes the brain. Changing feelings changes the brain.
In a nutshell: experience changes the brain.
Why is this important? Because when it comes to mental illness, so many people automatically assume, "Oh, well the doctor said I probably have a 'chemical imbalance' or something wrong with my brain, so that means I have to take drugs to fix it." But if we understand that experience changes the brain - that the mind and brain are flip sides of the same underlying reality - we won't make this logical error.
In most cases, so-called 'chemical imbalance' may be just as readily cured by a healing experience as by a healing chemical..