The struggle goes on

Update on painting - 

I pushed and shoved myself yesterday to do one of the projects in my art course. Effy Wild encouraged us to copy her process even. So I did the first layer. I HATE it! 

Now the last time I hated something I painted, I took it with me when I saw my analyst and talked at length about how much I hated it. Then actually looking at it with him, I saw a great deal. I know that hating any expression of emotion, any creative effort we make is to hate ourselves, to crap on ourselves in a way that we would not want anyone to do to our children. So I know that i have to let go of hating this latest effort. It is after all only the first layer and even as it does not please me, it offers many options for further work.

Deep breath — okay, let’s say I like the colors as they are together less than I imagined *and* I’ll see where it goes

© Cheryl Fuller, 2018. All  rights reserved.